This year, just a few months ago, I had my 50th birthday! Even just one year ago, if you asked me my age, I would have kept silent, walked away, or simply lied. The truth is that most people guess me to be in my early 30s, so I often just silently nod and agree. But then something clicked in me on my 49th birthday…I’m only one year away from 50! The mere thought of turning 50 would have freaked me out just a year ago. But it was different this year, and I decided to embrace turning 50 instead of running from it and lying about it. Stepping out of the aging closet if you will.

Instead of running from it, I decided instead to work every day to become the best version of myself. So then when I turned 50 in 2023, I could be like “Wow, this is 50! And I’ve never felt or looked better!” Age is just a number, but old is a mindset. And I don’t plan on being old. Besides you can be 50 and look/feel 30, or you can be 50 and look/feel 70. I have decided to pursue the former.

And this isn’t just about aesthetics, it’s about being the healthiest version I can be inside and out. It is about more than an anti-aging cream or a green smoothie. It is about nourishing my body in ways that I can actually slow, and even reverse aging in my body. How can I create the best version of myself that focuses on good health and longevity in hopes that God willing, I will make it to be healthy and vital 100 year old.

Throughout this year of self-improvement, I have been digging deeper into my Human Design. I could do a whole post on Human Design, but basically it gives insight on who you are deep down based on your natal chart.

I’m a Manifesting Generator type, which means that I am multi-passionate. I love to learn and share what I learn with others. First, I do, then I teach. Manifesting Generators usually have multiple businesses, careers, or passion projects. I have always been this way and made to feel shame about it from others. I’ve always been told “You are all over the place”, or “You lack focus”, or “Just pick one thing and finish it” This always made me feel less than, weird, and pretty awful about myself.

However, after studying my Human Design chart more, I realize that this is indeed my superpower. My ability to learn about different things, try new things, and share those experiences with others is what I am meant to do. It is why I’ve been a hairstylist, a makeup artist, an esthetician, an event planner, worked in Marketing, and currently work in healthcare, teach yoga, Barre, and Pilates, and more.

While studying my Human Design chart more I am also learning about Chiron Return. This is a period where, at around the age of 50, there is a cycle of maturity that flowers into life purpose. This transition is a profound shift that changes our psychological and physical well-being. It also affects our direction and movement in life.

Since my divorce in 2020-21, I have been on a journey of self-discovery. This journey ties right into the momentous life event of turning 50, starting over, and now learning more about Chiron Return which is happening right now. I’ve realized that so much of my life I spent searching. Searching for happiness. Searching for love! Searching for answers and meaning. Searching for my life’s purpose.

The Chiron Return is a time of healing. It’s aligning with your soul’s true purpose. It’s a time to realize you no longer have to search anymore. Everything you’ve sought has been within you the whole time. Like Dorothy and her red slippers, you had the way home with you the whole journey.

Coming out of the other side of this, you now share what you’ve learned with others. That is exactly where I’m at. My soul’s purpose is to share my knowledge and experiences with others. To teach others that everything they seek is already within them. To teach others self-love, self-acceptance, how to live well, be joyful, and heal from past wounds.

The struggles I have had in my life from drug addiction, to eating disorders, to sexual assault and abuse as a child, to my divorce all led me to a place now where I can heal from those wounds, and hopefully share my experiences in a way that helps others heal. This is my life purpose…to teach. God has recently shown me that my life’s purpose is to TEACH, to teach others how to become the best versions of themselves in him.