My 20s: Fearless & Hopeful

In my 20s, I was unstoppable. I didn’t overthink. I didn’t doubt myself. I jumped into new opportunities with excitement and truly believed the future was mine to create. Fear? I didn’t know her. I was confident, adventurous, and full of hope. I used to pretend I had the style, elegance, charisma, and confidence of Posh Spice. She was my 90s role model! 

In my 20s I pursued creative endeavors: I modeled, I was a writer, I was a hair stylist, a makeup artist, then an event planner. In my 20s I marched to the beat of my own drummer and didn’t care what others thought about it. I didn’t let the fear of other’s opinions hold me back or keep me from doing the things I wanted to do.

The Shift in My 50s

But somewhere along the way, life happened. Responsibilities piled up. The stakes felt higher. And now… in my 50s, I notice that confidence isn’t as automatic. I catch myself worrying more about the future… and sometimes I feel overwhelmed by things that once rolled right off my back. And feelings of abandonment from my divorce only made matters worse and shattered my confidence, or rather what was left of it.

Now in my 50s I spend less time being creative and more timing stressing over retirement, healthy aging, and having a 401 K. My biggest fear today is growing old and being alone at the end of my life. 20s me wouldn’t have felt that fear.

In your 20s, a wrong turn might mean a fun detour. In your 50s, it can mean financial loss, health consequences, or lifestyle disruptions. In your 20s, you might chase validation. In your 50s, you value authenticity more.

Maybe you’ve felt it too — that shift from fearless to careful. From spontaneous to calculated.

How I’m Rebuilding Confidence & How You Can Too

But here’s what I’m learning: confidence isn’t something we lose forever. It’s something we can rebuild. And I’m on a mission to reconnect with that younger version of me — not by pretending I’m in my 20s again, but by carrying that same hope and boldness into my 50s and beyond.

For me, that looks like saying “yes” more often, taking small risks, investing in my health, and remembering that I’m still allowed to dream big. That my best years aren’t behind me — they’re unfolding right now.

Here are some tips to help you regain your confidence if you’re over 50 (or really at any age)!

Tips to Get Your Groove Back

Confidence means having a positive self-image and healthy sense of self-worth. In practice, this can mean feeling at ease in social situations, being unafraid of public speaking, or having positive thoughts about one’s life and personality. To be confident means to thoroughly know and embrace who you are and to be comfortable with your strengths and weaknesses alike.

And we’re talking about a quiet confidence not being overly confident or coming across as cocky. Power doesn’t have to be loud to be heard.

1. Celebrate Your Wins – keep a journal or digital folder with reminders of things you’ve accomplished, compliments you’ve received, and challenges you’ve overcome. Revisit it whenever self-doubt creeps in to remind yourself of your track record of resilience.
   
2. Move Your Body for Strength – not just physical strength but strength of character. Confidence grows when you feel strong, mobile, and energized. Pick activities that give you an instant mood lift — whether that’s Pilates, yoga, dancing in your living room, or a morning walk with music that makes you feel unstoppable.
   
3.  Stop the Negative Self Talk – Notice your inner critic and replace “I can’t” with “I’m learning to…“Speak to yourself the way you’d encourage a close friend — you’ll be amazed how quickly this shifts your energy.
   
4. Try Something New Every day – Try one fresh, small adventure a day, a week, or a month — a class, trip, hobby, or even a new coffee shop. Novelty rewires your brain, boosts dopamine, and reignites that “20s curiosity” you miss.
   
5. Refresh Your Look – Update your wardrobe, change your hairstyle, or invest in skincare that makes you glow. It’s not vanity — it’s a visual reminder to yourself that you’re evolving, not fading.
   
6. Revisit Old Passions – Think about what lit you up in your 20s — music, art, sports, travel — and reintroduce it into your life in some way. Familiar joys can act as a spark plug for your present self.
7. Take Up Space – Taking up space is a powerful act of self-confidence—it’s about allowing yourself to be fully seen and heard without shrinking to fit others’ expectations. When you stand tall, use open body language, speak clearly, and claim your place in the room, you send a message both to yourself and to those around you that you are worthy of attention and respect. 
8. Put your unique strengths to work – Confidence grows when you lean into your unique strengths—those natural gifts, talents, and perspectives that only you can bring. Instead of comparing yourself to others, channeling energy into what you do well builds a sense of competence and authenticity. The more you practice using these strengths, the more you see your value reflected in results, relationships, and opportunities. This self-trust becomes the foundation of lasting confidence, because it’s rooted in who you truly are rather than who you think you “should” be.
9. Know when to say no and set boundaries – Saying “no” and setting boundaries is one of the most powerful ways to build confidence, because it shows you trust yourself to protect your time, energy, and values. Every time you honor your limits, you affirm that your needs are just as important as anyone else’s. This practice not only prevents burnout and resentment, but it also strengthens self-respect—reminding you that confidence isn’t about pleasing everyone, but about standing firmly and gracefully in your truth.
10. Stop silencing your truth to make others comfortable or happy – True confidence comes from allowing your voice to be heard, even if it makes others uncomfortable. When you stop shrinking your words, opinions, or emotions to keep the peace, you send yourself the message that your perspective matters. Speaking honestly and authentically not only builds self-respect but also attracts deeper, more genuine connections. The more you practice standing in your truth, the less power fear holds—and the more your confidence grows from within
11. Do it afraid – Confidence isn’t built by waiting for fear to disappear—it grows when you take action in spite of it. “Doing it afraid” means showing up, trying, and moving forward even when your heart races or doubts creep in. Each time you push through fear, you prove to yourself that courage matters more than perfection. Over time, those small brave steps stack up, turning fear into fuel and building a deep, unshakable confidence.
12. Cultivate a Quiet Confidence – There is a difference between being loud and being confident. Sometimes the most confident person in the room is actually the quietest.
    

If you’ve ever felt like you’ve lost a little of your spark, this is your reminder: it’s still there. Your spark isn’t gone — it’s just waiting for you to look in its direction again. You’re not too old, it’s not too late, and your best chapters aren’t behind you. 

Now let’s be like Stella and go get our groove back! For more detail on how to regain your confidence, watch my video below.